Always Well Within

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Can Mindfulness Make You More Appealing?

We all want to feel attractive, don’t we?

At different times, we want to attract:

  • A romantic partner

  • A better job

  • True friends

We might think attractiveness is all about good looks when we’re young. But as we mature, most people realize that positive traits are equally if not more important than physical ones.

For example, scientific studies link attractiveness to qualities like humor, kindness, and owning a pet.

But how can you develop appealing qualities?

Mindfulness meditation is one way to bring the best out in yourself. I’ve taught meditation to hundreds of people over the years and have seen how beautifully they begin to shine after a few months of regular practice.

Let’s explore some of the positive traits you can develop through mindfulness meditation.

1. Self-Confidence

It’s not easy to sit alone in silence for extended periods of time. As soon as you attempt to meditate, your thoughts may go wild. Or conversely, you might snooze off.

Developing a regular meditation practice requires patience, discipline, and perseverance. You have to make it through the initial phase where you might experience resistance, over-thinking, and self-doubts.

Once you do, your mind begins to settle more easily. You may still feel challenged now and then. But meditation is no longer like the roller-coaster ride you experienced when you first began the practice.

Making it to this point is a significant life accomplishment that can produce a natural sense of self-confidence.

I’m attracted to confident people. Aren’t you?

“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.” — Michelle Obama

2. Relaxed and at Ease

Many studies have shown that regular mindfulness meditation reduces stress and increases relaxation.

No one can escape stress completely. In fact, we need a little positive stress, called “eustress,” to get out of bed in the morning. 

But self-reported negative stress has soared in recent years. According to the American Psychological Association, 75% of adults report symptoms of stress like headaches and sleep disturbance.

When you learn how to regulate your stress response through mindfulness meditation, you’ll appear calmer and more collected to others.

Those qualities will surely make you stand out from the stressed-out crowd, won’t they?

“Is getting stressed about this situation doing me any good?”— Mickey Singer

3. Empathy

A bit part of mindfulness meditation is the observation of thoughts and emotions. Slowly, you begin to see the kinds of mental and emotional patterns that don’t serve you well.

For example:

  • You feel anxious when your partner hasn’t arrived at the agreed upon time.

  • You feel jealous when a co-worker gets a promotion.

  • You think people should listen to you and don’t understand why they don’t.

You begin to understand that you create a great deal of your own suffering by feeding negative cycles of thought and emotion.

This makes it easier to realize others do exactly the same. Even though every one wants to be happy, we keep acting in ways that cause distress for ourself and others.

This insight increases your empathy for yourself and others. Empathy leads to kindness, which science says is a trait that makes you more attractive.

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.” — Dalai Lama

4. Presence

Mindfulness meditation is all about cultivating the ability to remain in the present moment, simultaneously relaxed and aware.

Presence moment awareness can help you see things as they are, address problems as they arise, and stay focused on what matters. 

Simple experiences like watching a sunset, eating a meal, or petting your cat become all the more fulfilling because you’re fully present. This makes you all the more pleasant to be around.

You’ll also be more attentive to others because you won’t be distracted by your phone or in your head thinking of the past or future. Attention is a scarce commodity in modern times. People feel special and more connected to you when you pay attention to them.

Presence is like a magnet that draws people in.

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

5. Emotional Stability

When you watch your emotions arise and disappear time and again in mindfulness meditation, you come to recognize their transitory nature. You also witness the way automatic emotional reactions get you into trouble again and again.

After you’ve practiced mindfulness meditation for a while, you start to feel there’s more space between you and your emotions. This helps you better regulate your emotions and choose positive emotions over negative ones.

This new-found sense of emotional well-being naturally radiates to others. What could be more attractive than that?

“Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”― Viktor Frankl

Concluding Thoughts

Attractiveness is subjective. It also depends upon more than physical characteristics alone. Science has shown that positive personal qualities like self-confidence, kindness, and humor can make you more appealing to others.

But how do you develop these kinds of personal qualities?

One way is through mindfulness meditation. In my own experience as a meditation teacher, I’ve seen people increase the following positive qualities through regular mindfulness practice:

  1. Self-Confidence

  2. A sense of ease

  3. Empathy

  4. Presence

  5. Emotional stability

Meditation can have many positive effects on your well-being. So why not give it a try? You may find your positive qualities growing day by day, which can naturally make you more appealing.


Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious!  Don’t forget to  sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. 

You might also like to check out my  Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always.  With love, Sandra