How to Rethink Your Relationship to Social Media
What does “digital minimalism mean”? Can digital minimalism improve your life?
In his book, Digital Minimalism, Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World (affiliate link), Cal Newport defines digital minimalism as:
“A philosophy of technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value, and then happily miss out on everything else.”
Digital minimalism doesn’t automatically mean deleting all your social media accounts or throwing away your smart phone. It means using them selectively and wisely.
If you’re like most people, you probably find yourself waking up from a digital trance a little more than you would like, wondering why you just wasted the last 30 minutes or even several hours on the unnecessary or the unimportant.
It’s not you. The human brain is inherently vulnerable to manipulation. Social media companies intentionally take advantage of your vulnerabilities to keep you scrolling.
Let’s briefly look at how digital addiction works before we move on to explore digital minimalism, a powerful way to take your time and attention back.
The Ins and Outs of Digital Addiction
When I use the word “digital technology,” I’m referring to social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, search engines like Google (because they also manipulate their users), SmartPhones, phone apps, and texting. You could also include digital games and digital streaming like Netflix, which can also be addictive.
There isn’t one word that applies to all of them all. So I’ll use the words social media and digital technology interchangeably when speaking about them.
In the first part of his book, Newport highlights the dangers of social media, in particular the way it intentionally exploits vulnerabilities in human psychology in order to steal as much of your time and attention as possible.
Social media and social technology wasn’t born with this intention. In its earliest iterations, the focus was on posting and finding information, not rewarding people with likes to get them to stay online as long as possible.
But the introduction of the “like” button radically changed the psychology of Facebook use, eventually impacting all of social media. In addition to exploiting the human need for social approval, social media began to use, as it’s known in psychology, “intermittent positive reinforcement.” This type of reinforcement works because the unpredictability of a reward releases more dopamine, the neurotransmitter that keeps you engaged and wanting more.
Addiction has been intentionally engineered into social technology.
What is addiction? You may associate addiction with alcohol or drugs, but it can manifest in behavior as well, like gambling, shopping, gaming, or internet activities.
Here’s a current definition of addiction from Newport’s book.
“Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in use of a substance or in a behavior for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the behavior despite detrimental consequences.”
What are the detrimental consequences of addictive social technology use?
The Center for Humane Technology places them into the following categories. You can read about them in detail, including the source research studies, in the center’s Ledger of Harm.
“Making Sense of the World – Misinformation, conspiracy theories, and fake news.
Attention and Cognition – Loss of crucial abilities including memory and focus.
Physical and Mental Health – Stress, loneliness, feelings of addiction, and increased risky health behavior.
Social Relationships – Less empathy, more confusion and misinterpretation.
Politics and Elections – Propaganda, distorted dialogue, and disrupted democratic process.
Systemic Oppression – Amplification racism, sexism, homophobia and ableism.
The Next Generations – From developmental delays to suicide, children face a host of physical, mental and social challenges.
Do Unto Others – Many people who work for tech companies – and even the CEO’s – limit tech use in their own homes.”
It’s not surprising that social media has been described as the new tobacco.
“The tycoons of social media have to stop pretending that they’re friendly nerd gods building a better world and admit they’re just tobacco farmers in T-shirts selling an addictive product to children. Because, let’s face it. Checking your ‘likes’ is the new smoking.” – Bill Maher
Remember how tobacco company CEOs denied the addictive quality of tobacco for decades and kept aiming commercials at young people, while the whole time they were privy to endless memos and studies telling them it was so?
It’s not just kids though that can fall prey to overuse of digital technology, bad enough as that is. Adults are equally susceptible to the psychological techniques used by social media giants like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
The behavioral addictions connected to technology are considered “moderate” in most people. Nevertheless, they can still be seriously harmful to your wellbeing.
I recommend watching the Social Dilemma, a top ten Netflix documentary on the dangers of social media to get the full picture. This film features former executives from Facebook, Google, Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter who know precisely how these companies intentionally manipulate users.
Also check out the Center for Humane Technology. The aim of the organization is to articulate the problem - the way users are manipulated by tech companies - and pave the way toward a new era of humane technology.
Digital Minimalism
Now that you have a feeling for the addictive nature of social technology, are you curious about digital minimalism? Let’s explore how you might embrace a more minimalist approach to social media and social technology.
But before we do, let me assure you that digital minimalism is a lifestyle choice not a requirement. Becoming a digital minimalist doesn’t make you a better or more evolved person. It’s one approach to solving the problem of social media addiction, but not the only way.
If you’re fully satisfied with your level of digital engagement, a minimalist approach may not be for you. But if you find yourself spending more time in digital activity that you really want, or feel like you never have time to relax and read a book, or can’t resist clicking on ads and end up spending more money than you have, read on.
Newport says a one-small-step-at-a-time approach to downsizing your social media presence won’t work for most people. The lure of social media is far too strong. It will draw you right back in. Also, to truly free yourself from digital habits, he says you need to cultivate satisfying alternative activities to replace them, which takes time.
So, (take a deep breath) he recommends a 30-day digital declutter. If the idea of a month-long digital declutter scares you, hang in there and learn more about it before you make a final decision.
The 30-day digital declutter involves 3 steps:
A break from optional digital activities.
Taking time to explore and rediscover the activities you would find the most satisfying and meaningful as alternatives to endless scrolling, clicking, and sharing.
At the end of 30 days, reintroducing only those optional digital activities that provide value in your life with a plan on how you will specifically use them to obtain maximum value with a minimal amount of time.
The 30-day digital declutter is not the same as a digital sabbatical. It’s not a digital vacation taken to refresh yourself with the intention to then return full force to your previous digital activities.
Instead, it’s an opportunity to re-evaluate your relationship with digital activities and create your own plan for minimal use in the future.
Using Newport’s guidelines, you design your own 30-day digital declutter. You’ll define your own set of operating procedures, and any caveats for use of a particular technology that you find necessary. The digital declutter generally involves apps, sites, and tools delivered through a computer or mobile phone screen. You can include video games and video streaming if you wish.
Technologies you need to use for work or essential communication are not off-limits.
Newport provides detailed instructions on how to do a 30-day digital declutter in Digital Minimalism and tells you how to safely re-enter the digital world when your declutter is finished. His guidance will help you avoid the pitfalls commonly encountered, including the danger of giving up too early.
Interestingly, before he wrote Digital Minimalism, Newport sent an email to his list looking for volunteers to do a month-long digital declutter. He thought he would get 40-50 takers, but was flooded with 1,600 sign ups.
The book contains examples from some of the respondents on how they managed their digital declutter, including the caveats and accommodations they made so it was workable for them. For example, one person bought a watch to avoid check the time on their iPhone, an action that had often led her down the digital rabbit hole in the past.
During the digital declutter, people re-engaged in enjoyable activities like reading books, journaling, dinners with family or friends, more time with their children, and hobbies like painting, playing an instrument and sewing. One participants said:
“Stepping away for thirty-one days provided clarity I didn’t know I was missing… As I stand here now from the outside looking in, I see there is so much more the world has to offer.”
The 30-day digital declutter is a self-discovery process that can’t be replaced by altering one or two digital habits. You can’t imagine what you’ll learn about your self, your values, and your relationship to digital technology unless you go through the 30-day process or something like it.
Practices to Support Digital Minimalism
In the last part of his book, Newport explores, in detail, a series of practices that will help you cultivate a sustainable practice of digital minimalism. You won’t engage in every single practice, but you can collect the ones that resonate for you into your own toolkit for a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
These practices are organized in 4 sections as outlined below.
Spend Time Alone
Leave your phone at home
Take long walks
Write letters to yourself
Don’t Click “Like”
Don’t Click “Like” (Reclaim Conversation)
Consolidate texting
Hold conversation office hours
Reclaim Leisure
Fix or build something every week
Schedule your low-quality leisure time
Join something
Follow leisure plans
Join the Attention Resistance
Delete social media from your phone
Turn your devices into single-purpose computers
Use social media like a professional
Embrace slow media
Dumb down your smart phone
Can you imagine what it would feel like to have more leisure time, take long walks, or enjoy more conversations?
Are You Ready for a Different Digital Life?
My personal social media engagement has increased radically since the advent of COVID-19, the death of George Floyd, and the constant breaking (and disturbing) news pre-US election.
I’ve tried to be a voice for sanity on social media. I feel good about some of what I’ve shared.
At the same time, I often felt so alarmed, in response to a social media post or a news article on my phone app, I felt compelled to share to alert others, and ended up oversharing.
Ironically, since Facebook only shows my posts to a handful of people, most of whom already know and agree with me, the real impact of my sharing was minimal at best. Let’s be honest, if we want real change to occur, we need to take action, not just post on social media.
Sometimes, I found myself scrolling through my news app or my Facebook feed for no reason at all, but unable to stop. I was doomscrolling, a new term defined by Merriam-Webster as:
“Doomscrolling and doomsurfing are new terms referring to the tendency to continue to surf or scroll through bad news, even though that news is saddening, disheartening, or depressing. Many people are finding themselves reading continuously bad news about COVID-19 without the ability to stop or step back.”
After reading Digital Minimalism, I didn’t think I could manage a 30-day digital declutter. Not now! Not before the election! Not in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic.
But something urged me to try. I’m only 4 days in, and it feels right.
I read one short US news summary each day from the political historian Heather Cox Richardson. So I’m not missing out. But at the same time, I’m not subjecting myself to the repetition of the same news stories over and over again in my Facebook feed.
I don’t plan to delete my social media accounts. I value my online connections, and I have a blog, a Facebook Page and a Facebook Group. But I’m taking this time to reflect on how I want to engage on my personal Facebook profile and with other forms of social media when I return.
Cal Newport’s book Digital Minimalism can help you break addictive or unfulfilling use of social media and social technology. It will show you how to create a personal philosophy of technology use that is rooted in your deep values, and that allows time and space for what’s truly important to you. And isn’t that what you really want in life - to focus on what’s truly important to you?
Your Thoughts?
What do you think about digital minimalism? Would you try a 30-day digital declutter? If not, why not? I would love to hear in the comments.
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Living with Ease course or visit my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra
