How to Surrender, Let Go, and Trust
Do you trust that everything in your life is in perfect (or divine) order, whether you understand it or not? Do you believe the universe has your back, no matter what’s happening?
Most of us find it hard to trust to that degree. We cringe when unexpected change or painful difficulties arise. The last thing we want to hear is that everything is in divine order. I’m no exception.
But that very resistance to change and the inability to let go only adds to our pain, doesn’t it?
Wouldn’t life feel easier if you could let go of resistance and expectations, and flow with what is?
But how do you get there?
Your Mindset About Letting Go Matters
If you find yourself clinging to what was, but want to learn to let go, for a start, you’ll probably need to adjust your view about why things happen in this world.
When difficulties occur, do you see them as an opportunity or as a punishment, bad luck, or random occurrence?
The first approach places you in the empowered role of co-creator, while the second keeps you stuck in a victim stance.
Here are some alternative ways to look at what things happen in this world:
1. Soul Contracts
We enter into Soul Contracts or Sacred Contracts prior to birth in order to progress personally and spiritually during a particular lifetime. We connect with specific people who will help us fulfill our soul contracts. Events occur, both ones we deem positive and ones we see as diffcult, that push us to learn, grow, and bring our sacred contract to fruition in this lifetime.
2. Karma, the Law of Cause and Effect
Everything comes about as a result of our past actions and habitual patterns. If we learn and grow from our experiences, and as a result think, speak, and act differently, we change our karma. If we repeat the same self-defeating habitual actions, we strengthen the karmic pattern, and thus will likely repeat the same behaviors in the future.
3. The Power of An Eclipse
In astrology, it’s said that an eclipse can illuminate areas of our life that need to change. There are several eclipses each year.
Not every eclipse effects every astrological sign, but if it impacts yours, you may receive unexpected news or undergo surprise changes intended to accelerate your growth.
These changes are often initiated externally and may be out of your control. In fact, change that occurs around the time of an eclipse is often irreversible. As a result, you may experience a major turning point in your life.
We’re Not Taught to Let Go
I don’t know if any of these perspective are THE truth. But I know I feel better when I open to the idea that things occur for a reason and actually for my benefit, as challenging as they may feel in the moment.
Our culture feeds us the “happily ever after” version of reality, or the American dream account, where everyone ends up with their fantasy home, ideal partner, and favorite cars.
But life isn’t really like that, is it? Good things happen, but we’re all subject to birth, old age, sickness, and death as well. Impermanence rules the world, subtle change occurs in every moment. But we often suffer because we fail to accept these fundamental truths.
Are you living your life as if everything will always stay the same or become your dream ideal? How attached are you to these outcomes? How will you feel when the universe throws you a curve ball—because at some point, it almost always does?
It’s human to feel grief and loss when we undergo major life changes, even if we accept, at some level, that everything is impermanent. It would be unnatural not to grieve. But if you get stuck ruminating about a loss for months and years, wanting what was and refusing to let go, you’ll only continue to suffer.
Letting go does not come easily for most of us. On a very primal level, our bodies are wired for survival. The loss of anything we believe to be associated with our survival - our income, our home, our partner - can throw us into flight, fight or freeze mode, territory not under the sole direction of the conscious mind.
So hold yourself gently as you process through change and learn to surrender, let go, and trust.
A Healing Process for Letting Go
Learning to let go is a process that takes time.
One way to practice letting go is to hand your concerns, uncertainties, and troubles over to the Divine. This means doing your best to surrender your attachment to the outcome, and trust that what is meant to be will be.
Try this practice from the Mother Mary Oracle Guidebook (affiliate link), it goes along with a gorgeous set of oracle cards, to strengthen your ability to let go. If you don’t relate to Mother Mary, envision another figure or simply visualize a positive energy in the form of white light.
“Sense yourself standing on a clear, bright day in a beautiful place in nature.
As you explore this place in nature, you find a woman in long white robes holding out her hands. As you move closer you notice the she is smiling at you, and as you look down at her hands, white roses appear.
She asks you what is troubling you. Tell her. If you are not sure, tell her that!
You then say, ‘Mother Mary, who loves me unconditionally, please help me now. I hand over my problems to you and ask for peace. Help me know when to act and when to wait, and help me find the best way through this situation. Thank you.’
She smiles at you and gently raises her hands until white rose petals cascade around you, slowly falling to the ground around your feet, perfuming the air with soft fragrance.
See, sense or feel, or smell, the descending petals around you and at your feet. Stay with that sensation, strong or subtle, for several long, slow breaths.
If you can, sense her peace in your heart and know that she has taken your troubles, and is gifting you with a solution which will manifest itself in your life, in the perfect time and the perfect way.
Finish your healing with this affirmation:
‘The peace of the Mother fills my heart, as I let go into her endless genius and grace.’”
Try out the visualization and see how it feels to you. Afterward, do you feel even a glimmer of peace? If so, that’s a good sign. Keep working with the healing process. Gradually, you’ll find it easier to let go.
I do. Sometimes it sticks with me for a few days. As soon as I start to embroil myself in an old story, I remember to reconnect with the energy of the Divine Mother, relax, and smile.
It’s a fairly new process for me so I know I’ll probably get stuck in resentment or worry once again. But my ability to surrender, let go, and trust is beginning to grow.
I hope you will try this out, in whatever form works for you. Surrender you concerns, and see if you feel more at peace.
Do you find it hard to let go? What helps you to let go? If you tried the practice, how did it go for you? I would love to hear in the comments.
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. Subscribers receive access to the Always Well Within Library of free self-development resources.